College....Why Must You Hate Me?

Yesterday I found out that Financial Aid can do nothing to help me. My payments this semester are $400 a month and next semester they jump to $600 :( I truly can't afford that. I emailed my mother and asked her to do a Parent PLUS loan, all I need her to do is get denied, but she did not answer me and that makes me think she is not going to do it...


Why is money such an issue all the time? Working at Dunkin Donuts is not going to cut it and I would love to get another job, but there are none. Farmington is so small, and not having car makes job pickings very slim.


I don't know what I am going to do...but I have worked too hard to lose everything because I can't afford it. It's not fair! Sorry to whine and complain I just don't know what to do anymore...

So About Those Care Packages

So I realized while talking to a wonderful lady by the name of Laura today, that I keep whining about not having any food and wanting care packages so I should probably throw some ideas of what I like out there!

Today Was A Better Day

This morning I woke up to rain, lots of it, and the knowledge that I had to walk to work...I was very upset. I went on Facebook and noticed not many other people were thrilled about the rain, but I happened to comment on Brianne's (Captain of the cheering team) status about having to walk in it and she offered me a ride! I was SO thankful and happy!

Work went well, Ashley and I really talked about a lot of stuff and it was wonderful! We both love horror movies and love to be scared and hate it at the same time. She asked if I was going to the haunted corn maze, haha me? Probably not!


I then realized I had to walk home in the rain. My mood went down again, as I tried to think of ways to get home. I texted Jordyn and she said she would give me a ride since her and her friends wanted coffee anyways. I got them their coffee for free since they were being so nice.


In all it was finally a decent day! I still miss my boy but I know I will see him soon and that is what keeps me going!

*sigh*

What a weekend...Emotional as heck... Things really are tough right now. I just want to be able to afford to visit CJ whenever I want, but I just can't. Why did I mess up my life for so long...? Why did I get myself into this awful mess I am in financially? This is stupid. I want to be cheerful and write a fun blog but I just can't right now.

I guess on the bright side I got to sleep in until 11 this morning, but then I had to work at 12. Good thing I am only 5 minutes away! Working again tomorrow, 15 hours a week is so not enough...*sigh*

Well I at least can look forwards to cheering pretty soon. A definite plus, hopefully my shoulder and knee hold up!

Um Cool Eyes

My eyes are burning

They do not sting

They are not sore

They feel as though they are on fire

AHHHHHH!

And of course It's not like I have drops

WHY CAN'T I FEEL GOOD FOR ONCE!

Help :(

I just want my boyfriend :(

I Feel Yucky :(

This morning I woke up and instead of going to breakfast like I usually do, I chose to sleep in because I did not feel well. I felt so badly that I decided going to math would be a bad idea. I was worried though, missing a class is not something I want to make a habit of, so I forced myself to get up and go to my second class. When I went to my second class, I asked my friend Alex what I missed in math (I was being responsible and getting the notes) WELL APPARENTLY our class had been cancelled anyways, so I worried for nothing!

When I got back from my second class I went back to bed because I felt absolutely awful. One minute I was hot, one minute I was freezing. It did not make any sense! Once again, I forced myself to get up and go to swimming. Amanda decided to beat on us today and made us do a lot of pool side push ups. Well between how sick I felt and my shoulder, I nearly got sick in the pool. I was NOT happy. I got back to my room and stayed in the shower a good half hour because I thought it might help. It didn't.

Of course after all of this I had to go to work at 3, feeling like $#!t and just wanting to curl up and sleep. WELL I bent down to get my visor and my back and arm and neck on the right side, the bad shoulder side, went completely numb. I was in so much pain I just wanted to curl up and die. But I had to go to work, gotta make that money.

I came home to find out that my roomie had gotten locked in our room. Apparently if we shut our door we will not be able to get out! Before, the door would not shut at all! AH!!!! THIS IS CRAZY! I need sleep...Goodnight

I Have A Crazy Roomie

I was attempting to do my math homework and my wonderful roomie kept laughing at me because I was doing impressions of this amusing video:

Freaking hilarious huh? The things kids say. We laughed for a good half hour, it was crazy. Then she laughed at my yawning and my sneezing. Oh and search Bluhd, freaking cutest kid! Short and sweet for tonight :)

What A Weekend!

This weekend was AMAZING! Friday I obviously took a bus to see CJ, and yeah, see my last post. Saturday we had lunch with Grammie, we got yummy pizza then helped Poppa with the basement. Sunday morning CJ came home and went to bed, when he got up he drove me to Maine :) It was a very fun car ride, we rocked out to good music and my hand was his microphone!

When we got to Auburn, we both had to use the bathroom, ICEES tend to do that to you =p, so we stopped at his parents house and he told them about some stuff and we ended up staying for a while. CJ and Connor played frisbee, and I played ball with the wieners >.<>

We eventually headed to Farmington and had a fun night with my roomie. We all stayed up WAY too late and Jenny and I got the giggles and I SWEAR there was a ghost in our room! It looked like there was a person on our ceiling!!! We all fell asleep and had a good night.

Today it was so very hard for me to say goodbye to CJ. It gets harder and harder every time, it sucks. BUT CJ got me an amazing pink, soft, fluffy blanket. Now whenever I get sad, cold, scared, or lonely, I can curl up in it and think of him.

So all in all it was a great weekend. I helped Brianne, the cheering captain, with a poster for the club fair tomorrow and we had a lot of fun. I am pumped for cheering to start, and I think that these coming months are just going to get better!

What A Mess!

CJ and I helped Poppa clean his portion of the basement today. While we were down there, CJ came across a glass top table that he liked. He wanted to put his T.V. on it, so he brought it upstairs. When we were finished downstairs, we went up to his room and realized how much of a mess it was. We had to take the wicker table out from under the T.V., put the new table under, clean up the mess of cords and paper and junk, and I was assigned the task of putting away the laundry that, thankfully, Grammie had folded very nicely. The room now looks wonderful and he is napping before work.

I would now like to share how amazingly sweet my wonderful boyfriend is. I walked in last night at around 10:30, and on his bed was a sweet note and a whole bunch of candy corn! MY FAVORITE! Oh the wonders of that little candy. Pure sugary greatness! I just smiled and realized how lucky I am to have such an amazing guy :)


I should probably go do my math homework now...blech...have a wonderful night<3

How Refreshing

Though it was a super bad day, everyone in my family hates me ha but whatever, Jenny and I got a good workout. We did abs and legs for half an hour and then did Zumba for about an hour! It was so much fun and we got some kinda sweaty!

Not too eventful of a day. In English this morning I had to read the 5 page paper about CJ that I wrote to the class. It went better than I thought, since it is an emotional paper. April, Jenny, and I went to lunch and just hung out for a while, then I went to the dreaded Geography class. We did nothing...as usual...so I messed around on Facebook and such. Oh I know, I am AWFUL!

SO since I have yet to shower after that wonderful, refreshing workout, I think I shall go do so! Good night<3

Cheering!

Today was the first day of working out with the cheering girls! After a long hard work out in the pool and working for three hours, I worked out with the cheer girls for about half an hour and man was it the hardest 30 minutes of my life! I am SO pumped to get back into it!

Tomorrow I have 2 classes and I am going to workout with April and Jenny and go to Zumba again! Whoo hoo! I love working out even though it hurts, I actually feel decent about myself!

I am super excited about this weekend. I am visiting my WONDERFUL boyfriend and Poppa :) I haven't been to MA in a while so I am definitely looking forward to it. It also feels good because I am going there, and CJ doesn't have to come get me. I am taking a bus with Kelcie, Tara, and some boy haha. Well I am going to go kick my roommates butt for talking to a dumb boy :)

Yay I Can Post Them!

So a few weeks ago I was visiting CJ in MA and on my last day there we went to Hampton Beach where his Nanny lives. She got the whole Twomey family together to do family photos. It was a gorgeous day and everyone looked amazing. (Yes Hallie, you looked FABULOUS and not even a little bit wide ;)) The sun was shining and the water was warm, and picture after picture was taken. Since I am not part of the family, I stayed on the sidelines and watched, it was lovely! As the pictures on the rocks were done being taken, so I thought, CJ's Nanny told me she wanted a picture of the two of us. I was so shocked! But I was very happy even though I looked awful and was not prepared at all! Now that the pictures have been bought, I can finally post them and I am soooo happy!


So today April, Jenny, Melissa, and I decided to do the workout called Zumba. I figured since it was just dancing it would not be hard, but boy was I wrong! I was sweating and shaking, stupid me didn't bring any water and I have a bad habit of not staying hydrated during the day. It felt good to work out again though, and I am going to keep doing it! Ugh I need to stop procrastinating and do my math homework....le sigh....Have a wonderful night everyone! :)

I Set Off The Fire Alarm!!!!

SO today, after Jenny and I walked to the credit union, we walked back into our room and it reeked of chlorine because of my swimming class. So, I decided that the room smelled back so I grabbed my Oust and sprayed up above my head thinking it would circulate and make the room smell better. Well, Jenny says um I think you are spraying the smoke detector, as soon as I stopped spraying....BEEP BEEP BEEP!!!!! We looked at each other and snickered and ran into the common room. It eventually stopped and we nearly died laughing.

Today I worked out a lot, it was great! I had an hour of swimming, and then April and I worked out for an hour. I feel great, tired, but GREAT!! Tomorrow night Jenny, April, and I are going to a Zumba class. I am super pumped. I am working out more because cheering is coming up :)

Farm!

Good Luck!

SOOOO, today CJ's mom, Hallie, is giving a speech. Not just any speech, a speech on organ donation. See, her father, Poppa, had a heart transplant, and without organ donation, I shudder to think what may have happened. Organ donation is such an important cause, and I think that everyone should consider being a donor. I am one myself.

Hallie has a wonderful group on Facebook that everyone should join. Click here to see the amazing things she has done.

So this weekend was a wonderful one. CJ came to visit and my roommate was gone at work so we had the room to ourselves. It was nice to be able to spend time with him again. He also made me a character on World of Warcraft, *sigh* I said I would never play it, but my character is pretty! She is a pinkish blood elf names Arastari. I got her to level 5, and yes I am VERY proud of that >.<

So I suppose I should go organize and clean my room before Jenny gets back, it is a disaster! Good luck Hallie! You will do great! And everyone should definitely think about being a donor, it isn't hard to do and could save a life someday.

I LOVE Care Packages!

Today I received a WONDERFUL care package from my aunt. It contained yummy, chocolatey goodness along with other yummy treats, my straightener(!!!!!), and an adorable pillow that sings "You Are My Sunshine" when you squeeze it (that has been our song since I was little). I love getting mail here. It makes me realize people do care even though I am away!


SOOOO if anyone wants to send me something it is 366 Dakin Hall, Farmington, ME 04938
As I said, I LOVE getting mail :)


So today was pretty uneventful, honestly I slept most of the day. I went to my first class, got out at 9:30, took a shower, and slept until 1! I went to my class at 1:40-3:20 and then just relaxed for the rest of the day. I had dinner, got my package, did a little reading, and I am now here doing this!


Tomorrow is Friday! Yay!!! I am SO pumped, well, not for work, but for the fact that it is the weekend!! WHOO HOO!! Have a wonderful night<3

Money....Money....Money...

I have none. I need lots. This is a huge issue for a college student who has to pay money every month. I am worried. I am not going to be able to pay this! *Sigh* It is just one thing after another in my life.

Things are happening so fast. It has already been almost 2 weeks since I started at UMF and I feel like it has been forever. College payments are due the 15th of every month, and it is just money I do not have. This is rough on me. I am trying not to let it get me down but staying positive is brutal.

Schoolwork is going great though. I was told by me English teacher that I am a very good writer and that my Significant Moment paper was very good. I am having a hard time in math, but I am surviving and getting everything done. Early Childhood Education is a drag right now, but eventually we get to observe kids, which I can't wait to do. Geography, well, we won't go there. It isn't the work, it is the teacher. Lastly gym; I surprised myself today. I benched 90 pounds, leg pressed 230, and my body comp wasn't as awful as I was expecting.

So I guess things could definitely be worse, it is simply money dragging me down. Oh well, I will do my best to get through this. What doesn't kill me will only make me stronger right??

Not Impressed

So, I emailed my mother the other day, at her home email, and she did not respond. I mean really, I emailed her pictures of my dorm and let her know how I was doing, and yet nothing. That really upsets me. She is my mother! Why can't she take the time to appreciate how far I have come in life?? We have been through so much, from crap when I was born with my father, to me being depressed, and yet I still made it to college, on my own, and I am paying for it, by myself. It just seems to me that she should be somewhat proud.

Am I being selfish? I wish I had the kind of mother-daughter relationship my Memere and my Aunt have. Bot no, of course not. I want my mommy and daddy. I know none of my other posts have really been all that serious, but tonight, I am having a pity party. I am hurt, I am upset, and I just wish that my PARENTS would show that they give a damn about me and my accomplishments. I appreciate everything my aunt and memere have done for me, but it is not the same as having your parents. I may sound selfish right now but frankly I really do not care.

Thank you to those of you who have supported me. My memere, my aunt, my friends, my grandparents, CJ, CJ's family, Diane, Rolande, all of you have made things easier on me and you all mean the world to me. I love you.

Farmington Dunkin Donuts

Today was my first day working at my new job at the downtown Dunkin Donuts in Farmington. I was so nervous to just walk in there and work like I knew what I was doing, well, I knew what I was doing but I didn't know anyone and I felt awkward. I worked from 12-6 and have been in my dorm alone since, my roommate is out with her friend or something.


I am exhausted, honestly, I am not sure why, but college has just made me so tired! All the time! No matter how much I sleep! Oh well whatever, what can you do right?


Wow so I just realized I never put any pictures of my room up, so here goes!

White Water Rafting Pictures

Man did we have fun! I was terrified at first but it was such an amazing time!

12 Minute Swim

SOOOO today was pretty bad. I went to bed in a lot of pain last night, both physical and mental, around 11-11:30 (thank you Tylenol PM). I woke up at 3:30 this morning to find my room empty. No roommate, nothing. Of course I panicked, hello we are in college lord only knows what she could have been up to. I found out she was upstairs with some friends, AT 3:30!!!!!! So her and her friend stumble in around 4am and her friend proceeds to laugh and giggle as loud as can be. I was NOT impressed. This morning I dragged myself out of bed and when I got to math class I kept nodding off. You know what I mean, head resting on your hand just resting your eyes when your head slips and jerks you awake. Oh yeah, it was brutal.

After my first two classes I go back to the room to nap before my swimming class, just as I am falling asleep a BANG BANG BANG on the door wakes me up! Who might it be? Oh, the maintenance man......coming to fix our door...of course....while I am sleeping. So I dragged myself out of bed and let him in. By then it is too late for any sleep so I say screw it and get ready.

I head out to swimming and realize oh sh*t I forgot my keys. I proceed to call my roommate about 400 times, with no answer. OF COURSE! My friend says I can wait in his room when we get out, thankfully. So while in my swimming class, we start out by doing 80 crunches. Not too bad, except they break my effing neck!! After we were done we got the pleasure of doing a 12 minute swim; how many laps could we do in that time. Of course being a swimmer I thought that would be cake. Of course not, my shoulder decides today will be the day it will flare up and lock up. THANK YOU SHOULDER! *sigh* It has been quite the day, and it is only 4:30. Please God let tonight go well!

Geography

This morning I attended my First Year Seminar class. It is about soldiers and their war experiences, which I think will be interesting and I also think it will be rough. Since CJ was in the Air Force and all, thinking about what he could have possibly had to do, it scares me. So OF COURSE guess who is in that class? Oh the lovely girl I wrote about yesterday, of course a class I am going to get emotional in, she is in it. Whatever. We got our first assignment, we had to write a 4-5 page paper about a significant moment. I like mine :)

So there is a wonderful friend of mine who would like me to give him some recognition. He began his blog because of me and if you would like to check it out you can click here He is WONDERFUL and is getting ready to give up on blogging because no one is following him =[

I also just need to say, to my wonderful boyfriend, I LOVE YOU, and remember what Jakob told you. Things can only go up :) See you soon my love<3

Whoops! I called this post Geography I should talk about it! It is SO LAME! The teacher is monotone and thinks he is hilarious but he is not! He is boring! This class is going to suck royally....blaaaah!

Girls Are Just SO Lovely

I woke up this morning at 6:45 am, got dressed, went to breakfast, went to my first class. As I go to sit down in my class, math, I notice this peachy girl sitting behind me. Someone who hates me for no reason at all. As soon as she notices me, she whips out her cell phone and begins to text ANOTHER peachy girl who shall remain nameless because I am sure she will see this since she is kind of a crazy stalker, but no big :) So I ignore her throughout class and go back to my dorm.

I attend my second class, it was somewhat boring but hey, no haters, so I can't complain too much. after this class is over, I go back to my dorm , talk to CJ on webcam for a little bit, and get ready for my third and final class of the day:gym. I walk into the gym where we are all meeting and sit down. No sooner does 5 minutes go by and I happen to look behind me. Guess who's there? Oh yeah, peachy girl number 1. I get to swim with her...Yay! There goes MY love for the pool. I don't mean to be a snob, but really now, must I get stuck with immature, stupid girls all the time?

Basically the short version is I love CJ, CJ loves me AAAANNNNNDDDDD the world needs to just accept it. Mkay :)

Gummy Frogs

So for some strange reason, my wonderful boyfriend loves these weird, green, gummy frogs. Yep, not worms or bears, frogs. He always wants them and gets them whenever possible.

So a few weeks ago, we stumbled upon a website and he looked to see if they had any gummy frogs on there. Sure enough, they had a five pound bag of them. Me, being the kinda, generous, living girlfriend that I am, waited for him to leave for work one night, and grabbed my debit card and his address and ordered him a bag. Hey, it is the least I could do for him putting up with me for this long =p I got a phone call from him today, because he got it, and it sounded as if his smile was wider than his face. It made me feel very good inside.


In other news, college is going great, classes start tomorrow and we still have the bombest room on campus, and I am getting along with nearly everyone. Of course there are a few select girls I could do without but hey, I am not going to let them ruin my time.
I miss everyone! I love you all too!
If anyone wants to write or maybe send this wonderful girl a care package, the address is:
Danielle Dubois
366 Dakin Hall
Farmington, ME 04938