The Past 2.5 Weeks...

The past two and a half weeks have been spent in Mechanic Falls with Tyler's family, The Bisbee's, and Liza, and Brandon. I have not smiled, laughed, shared emotion, had fun, this much since before April 14th, 2010. Even though we were all grieving together, we were all able to talk openly about our deceased loved ones and smile about them.

I would like to thank the Mechanic Falls, Poland, Minot, area community for all of the support they have shown the Bisbee's through the most difficult time in their lives. The support has been mind blowing and I am so thankful they have it.

Liza and I got matching tattoos in memory of Tyler. They are the symbol from the hat he was wearing when he died; the Fox symbol and the Monster symbol. I love it.

Going back to school is going to be SO hard! I haven't left this family's side in so long! I do not know how I am going to make it! Twice I have tried to leave, and twice I came back because I missed them so much...geez...

RIP Tyler Bisbee

It is just one thing after another....not even 10 months after I lose CJ, I lose a good friend in a tragic car accident. Click here to see what little news is out so far.

Tyler Bisbee and I met at the campground we both grew up in each and every summer. He was the little brother of my good friend Keith, and we all had so many fun times together. From eating crazy amounts of pizza, to overeating absurd amounts of ice cream, to swimming for hours, playing basketball, going to the movies, teaching me to drive a jeep (that I completely wrecked the transmission of), to going out to eat, to playing silly games, and so many more fun times, such as the time Tyler ate all of my salsa and ended up sick all night because it was almost a whole jar! We never had a dull moment at Range Pond Campground.

Tyler had an unfortunate head on collision yesterday around 4pm. Sadly, he left us at the scene. It breaks my heart that there is nothing I can do for his family. Prayers and thoughts to the Bisbee family are 100% welcome. Tyler was only 17 years old, and there will forever be a hole in all of our hearts.

This hurts so badly...I don't even have time to mourn one death when another one slaps me in the face. Life is far too short...I don't think people realize this enough...

I will miss you Tyler...I will miss all the fun times we had, but that is what I will remember. The adorable boy with the hilarious sense of humor and the great smile. RIP sweetie

Angry Rant

So this is my angry rant, do not take it to heart, but I have to get it out...here goes.

I am so sick and tired of people forgetting I exist. CJ was the man I was actively trying to have a child with and also the man who put a ring on my finger with the intention of marrying me. Yet here we are, almost 10 months later and nobody asks how I am doing, nobody talks to me, nobody gives me any compassion. Let me rephrase that, nobody ACTIVELY SHOWS these things. People tell me they are thinking of me but how am I supposed to know that when nobody says anything to me??

Last night I went nuts. In my mind I tore a few people to shreds. Guess what? NOBODY WANTS TO CELEBRATE THE GOD DAMN DAY THE LOVE OF MY LIFE CHOSE TO LEAVE EARTH! I fully intend on spending most, if not all, of Aril in my bed. Guess what kiddos?? My birthday is April 5th, YUP, 9 days before he decided to do it. But Danielle doesn't need any support or anything...nahhhh.

Here is another news flash to all the attention whores out there. You can play the whole "poor poor me" game, but there are those of us who know the truth. Guess who sat with CJ one night listening to him sob about how he had no friends anymore? I DID! Guess who was by his side no matter what happened? I WAS! Where were you when he was in the hospital? Where were you at the wake? Where were you at the funeral? Where were you as we were huddled together in the teeny tiny room where we said our final goodbyes to him?

I am sorry to be such a raging bitch right now, but this shit had to be said. I am sick of everything and just about everyone at this point in time. But I now feel a HELL of a lot better.

My Newest Obsession