1) i hate life. I hate waking up everyday and not seeing that smile
2) i hate death. Death took the love of my life away from me
3) i hate guns, i hate bullets
4) i hate myself. How the FUCK did i not realize this was coming
5) i hate jettas. All jettas. Mostly silver ones. What if one of them is his?
6) i hate maine. I hate auburn. I hate farmington. I hate mass. I hate haverhill. I hate andover. I hate the loop. I hate any place we went together because we will never go there together again.
7) i hate being judged. Every time someone looks at me i can feel it.
8) i hate people being afraid to talk to me. I WANT TO TALK DAMMIT!
9) i hate that i lost his family and i lost my friends
10) i hate when people blame me for this when they get mad at me
11) i hate that i have to even write this shit.
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I'm so sorry but I am glad you got your feelings out. Maybe you should make a list of the things you love that are in your life right now, even if it is just mentally. Let me know if you need to talk...I like to talk too :)
ReplyDeletehad a very long comment written for you... BLOGGER ATE IT! GRRRR
ReplyDeletethe short of it was..
Make a gratitude list...
find things you are greatful for.
to each thing you listed above I found things to be greatful for. and had them listed..
you can call me anytime and you have not lost this friend. love you. hugs.