Brothers

Very rough night tonight. Watched the movie Brothers...which is about a soldier who becomes a POW in Afghanistan and returns home and has major PTSD (sorry if I ruined the movie for anyone). In the end, the soldier puts a gun to his head and that instant brought me back to April 14...to see someone come so close to doing it was horrifying. I could not breathe, was crying, and nearly threw up.

I am so worried about a good friend now....he deploys soon and even though he will not be gone long, I am terrified of losing him. Funny....I have never met him in person but I feel closer to him than a lot of my friends around here. I fear for the worst, since I just saw what could happen...

What if I do not have the strength to do this Air Force thing? What if I really am not tough enough? Can I handle war? Can I shoot a gun and be trained to kill? Can I look someone in the eye and know that they are the enemy? Can I have the strength that CJ had? Or will I fall apart and give up?

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