Going Back...

Last night I went back to Poppa's apartment in Haverhill, which is where CJ lived for almost the whole time we were together. When we pulled into the driveway, my heart sank. As much as I love Brie, I should not have been there with her, I should have been there with him.

So many firsts happened there. The first time I said I love you, the first time I played WoW *blush*, among many other memories I prefer to keep close to my heart. Besides his parents and his brother, that's where I met a lot of his family and their friends. I saw the town where he was born, I saw where his parents grew up, we ate at Harrisons...yum. It's just not right that the place I practically lived for a summer does not belong to us anymore...

Poppa changed the entire place around, which is probably for the best. I was okay when I first walked in, looked around, had some memories flash through my head. When Poppa showed me what he did to "our room" my heart sank. I LOVE what he did to the place, but that room...it absolutely destroyed me to see it without his clothes thrown everywhere, without Panda and Baby Panda, without the lovely smell I had grown accustomed to, without his messy bed thrown together, without his laptop sitting next to the couch, without....him.

It was so bittersweet to be there. I was SO happy to see Poppa and Grammie and Paul. It had been far too long. We talked a but about CJ, but we talked about other things as well, such as the fact that Poppa's AC died, and Christmas vacation plans.

I knew it would be tough to go there, but I am very glad that I did. I love you guys<3