It Only Hurts When I Breathe

So many people think that I am over it...I am far from over it.


So many people have forgotten the trauma I live each and every day...I haven't.


So many people don't and can't understand this pain...I don't either.


So many people have said they wish they could take the pain for me....I wouldn't wish that.


So many people don't know what to say....I get that.


So many people have distanced themselves from me...I hate it.


So many people don't realize the love I had/have for him....I know they can't.


So many people have stopped calling...I wish they wouldn't have.


So many people were there for me the week it happened...I long for them to come back.


So many people have never lost someone like this....I thank God for that.




I found a song that fits me perfectly. It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing by Shania Twain:


It only hurts when I'm breathing
My heart only breaks when it's beating
My dreams only die when I'm dreaming
So I hold my breath, to forget.


Anyone who wants to say that I should just get over it, anyone who says I don't care, well quite frankly, they can all go to hell. I miss CJ with every ounce of my being. Not a second goes by that I do no think of him, I see him in everything that I do. At work, on the beach, in the car, in the trees, EVERYWHERE!