Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Angry Rant

So this is my angry rant, do not take it to heart, but I have to get it out...here goes.

I am so sick and tired of people forgetting I exist. CJ was the man I was actively trying to have a child with and also the man who put a ring on my finger with the intention of marrying me. Yet here we are, almost 10 months later and nobody asks how I am doing, nobody talks to me, nobody gives me any compassion. Let me rephrase that, nobody ACTIVELY SHOWS these things. People tell me they are thinking of me but how am I supposed to know that when nobody says anything to me??

Last night I went nuts. In my mind I tore a few people to shreds. Guess what? NOBODY WANTS TO CELEBRATE THE GOD DAMN DAY THE LOVE OF MY LIFE CHOSE TO LEAVE EARTH! I fully intend on spending most, if not all, of Aril in my bed. Guess what kiddos?? My birthday is April 5th, YUP, 9 days before he decided to do it. But Danielle doesn't need any support or anything...nahhhh.

Here is another news flash to all the attention whores out there. You can play the whole "poor poor me" game, but there are those of us who know the truth. Guess who sat with CJ one night listening to him sob about how he had no friends anymore? I DID! Guess who was by his side no matter what happened? I WAS! Where were you when he was in the hospital? Where were you at the wake? Where were you at the funeral? Where were you as we were huddled together in the teeny tiny room where we said our final goodbyes to him?

I am sorry to be such a raging bitch right now, but this shit had to be said. I am sick of everything and just about everyone at this point in time. But I now feel a HELL of a lot better.

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