Tuesday, January 26, 2010

What An Emotional Day

Today has been rough. I have been in bed all day, besides class, and I just can't seem to shake this feeling that I was to just burst into tears. I know what is causing it, but there is no way for me t eliminate the problem. It is what it is and none of us can control it. I am stressed out, hardcore. I am taking it out on everyone. I just want to run, away, and not come back for a very long time. I want to hide under my blankets for 14 months. But in the end, what good will all of that do? It won't keep him here, it won't help him when he is gone.

I need to perk up, be happy, or at least fake a smile. I need to get my head ready for this, and also my heart. I have been sick to my stomach for days and it is starting to effect the rest of my body. This weekend is it, for a very long time, and I am terrified. I said goodbye before, but not for this. Not for this long. My hands have gotten shaky, my body has gotten weak, my back feels like a wooden board, and sleep has been little to non existent. Pray. Pray for him, pray for me, pray for his family, pray for everyone over there. Everyone needs it.

I love you. You mean the world to me. This is going to be so very hard, but I know that we are both so strong and we can get through this and overcome it. Get your head on straight, get ready for it, fight the fight and come home. My arms will be waiting to hold you.

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