So...it is my 20th birthday...and I am not sure how I feel about it. A whole lot has happened in 20 years, a whole lot that I never imagined possible. I have loved and lost, cried and laughed, learned to forgive, and learned to forget. I found the love of my life, and in an instant he was gone. Met a new girl, and that makes me very happy.
Today is a hard day. Last year on my birthday, I went to KFC, Taco Bell with CJ and some friends and had an amazing night; 9 years later he chose to leave this world. This year, I stayed awake until midnight with Kotye, just so she could say happy birthday, and she held me until I fell asleep. I was so very happy, but it is so strange to spend my birthday with someone else, but, in a good way.
I feel so very strange. SO happy that I have Kotye, so lost because CJ is gone. I don't know how to act, should I smile, should I cry? I don't know. I know that 20 years has been a HELL of a ride, and I sure hope the next 20 look a little bit better.
Thank you to everyone who has wished me a Happy Birthday, I really appreciate it and I love you all.
![Tinkerbell =]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnkwp4pDtt7blrHndmaPpZck7-XxRIzlLo1c0HXXlmuQ47cvO4jmy2df5Q2taDEyj5huuyPCiKp-R74Rc76FDcc2zeABJRQqpCxgzNmZyU5u-kNcbHEqABadYdQ1dOBzhkB75T2xvPRiwW/s269/thwink.gif)
I think it's OK to celebrate and mourn together. Birthdays are as much about looking forward as looking back. I think you have much to look forward too.
ReplyDeleteI was getting so desperate to move on from my break up six months ago, when I found out my Ex was cheating on me, Thanks to this same software expert at "hackingloop6@gmail .com" who hacked and gained me remote access to his phone activities, and exposed his infidelity. It was the first time anything that I was feeling made sense and I felt that excruciating anxiety starting to fade into the background just in realising that I am not crazy, and there’s a reason I’m still ruminating about my ex. I have a lot of grief and insecurities to work through before I go into another relationship.... "hackingloop6@gmail. com" is also on WhatsApp +1(484)540 - 0785, he's a trusted hacker that I was glad to apply for his service, his services are reliable and affordable...
ReplyDelete