Oh What a Night

It's been one of those nights...fighting back tears and finding myself all alone, only physically of course. I have someone wonderful who is only a text or a phone call away but tonight was one of those nights where I just wanted to sob hysterically and have someone hold me while I freak out. Since I had nobody here, I bit my lip and kept it all in; impressively so if I might add.

It was foolish really. I saw something on Facebook that made me incredibly angry and I just lost it. Angry at everyone, angry at myself, sad about everything, and I just could not seem to cheer up! I am still pretty down, but talking to Gucci Mama made me feel better :) She's a pretty rad woman, that Gucci :)

So here I sit with a half smile on my face, knowing how I am feeling right now is, dare I say it, "normal" and that I am not as crazy as people make me out to be. That doesn't mean I feel okay about these crazy mixed up feelings, no no no! I hate them! I want them gone! But for now, settling with dealing with them will have to do...

Thank you to the few people who made me feel better tonight, you know who you are, you guys all rock my world. I love you!

It's Been A While...

I haven't really had the energy to write lately. Sometimes blogging just makes me so sad, since I made this simply because I wanted CJ to read it....

Well, I am back at school, and believe you me it is kicking my ass. Well, anatomy is kicking my ass. My other classes are not too bad, there is still one I have not been too yet because it is once a week on Tuesday nights and last Tuesday night classes were canceled.

On a happy note, I am playing volleyball and having a great time! I am not super great but I am not terrible either! It is fun! I also have been doing Zumba and going to the gym, AND eating better! Maybe I will get healthier this time around :)

Not much else to say right now...just thought I would write so people don't worry too much :)

I dont even have to look at my blog from this time last year. I know what it says. It talks about how I had no desire to change things in my life. I was happy. I had an amazing guy, I was going to school, and I was completely content.

This year it is different. This year there ARE things I want to change. This year I want to do me. I want to change the way I look at the world, the way I think, the way I react. I want to love not only others, but myself as well. I can do this, I have to.

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